May 17th, 2004

Subject: why me? Time: 01:44 pm

Blogger has such beautiful templates now. It's tempting me to switch to blogspot once more. Should I? Or should I not? I don't even need to create a comments page myself either. So no brainer-designed specially to suit people like me. So how? But I'll miss the community here. Definitely. So how?

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May 16th, 2004

Current Music: Neri Per Caso-Qué hay entre tu y yo Subject: Music has never been so soothing. Time: 11:40 pm Current Mood: creative

After watching Heartbreakers on Channel 7, I dreaded to face my PC screen once more. There are tonnes of work to be done and I just can't bring myself to do it. My head keeps making flimsy excuses to distract myself from finishing the assignment and it almost worked! It kept telling me that I need sleep, after a brain draining NLC West Branch Annual Conference. And my eye lids were drooping, almost to add to the guise. Fight! Fight! I told myself. I can't allow my lazy self to take over or else I won't have anything to hand up by tomorrow. Then, the sane part of me started to get my windows media player playing some beautiful grooves. Neri Per Caso's definitely one of the best Italian accapella groups around. And the best part is, they got me snapping my fingers to their smooth croons.I'm awake! Wide awake, feeling rejuvenated. Now bloody assignments, bring it on!

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May 15th, 2004

Current Music: 100 years-five for fighting Subject: Freezing my brains off... Time: 12:54 pm Current Mood: anxious

Are the people here weird or is it just me? Just the other day, the temperature was testing the thickness of my skin. The morning air was freezing and almost had my nose numb after long exposures. There wasn't even wind, just plain cold. Reminded me of my winter episodes in Beijing. So that morning, I took great care to dress properly so that I won't shrivel up and die. A spagetthi strap, a shirt and a black long sleeved blouse. And a huge waterproof jacket to top it all. I was wearing jeans and even wore boots. Snuggling in the comfort of my warm clothes, I bravely embarked upon the journey to uni. As I walked down the main road, I was amazed by the people's lackadaisical attitude towards warming themselves up. Most of the Australians were dressed in shorts and sleeveless shirts. The men wore Tees and jeans. Okay....maybe these people have adapted to the drastic weather. No big deal. But as I continued walking, I saw asian students dressed the same way too. The girls were wearing only long sleeved blouses and skirts. No jackets. No jeans. I was shocked. I started to freak out, thinking that I must be crazy to think that it was cold. Or has my skin become dysfunctional?People must have thought that I was a sua-ku, wrapped up like a popiah on such a mild weather. It must be time for me to give the doctor a buzz. A few days after that, the weather lighten up and the sun blessed us with its glory. And with minimal clothings, I jogged down to the bus stop. Then strange sights began to penetrate my vision. I see people dressed up in the thickest clothing possible. Heavy coats, pants, shoes, scarves...... People here sure are confusing.

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May 14th, 2004

Current Music: morning prayer-kitaro Subject: Whee.. Time: 01:28 am Current Mood: amused

I can't believe I did it! Woo hoo! It was an amazing feat(in my own standards) to say the very least! I know there's always people out there who employ such tactics which later became almost like a ritual to them, but as a first timer, I must say that I feel quite triumphant. I've always been a huge time procrastinator. My entire family would vouch for me on that. I have a big fat lazy ass, stiff limbs and brains made delusional by lassitude. Therefore, I would never start my work until the very last minute. That would be when the urgency of the datelines start to evoke pangs of panic in me. However, yesterday's feat was something I've never tried before. I was pushing my luck. Cutting it too close. I started working on a writing assignment which was given to me 5 weeks ago .5 weeks ago and was due date: 9 am, the very next morning. What was I doing during those 5 weeks? That's when I started to get my usual rounds of amnesia. All I can recall was a total blur of activities which did not include assignments. The assignment comprised of 3 components. A poem and two drafts. A fic/non fic piece about a place at a particular time. A monologue. Taking for granted that the assignment would be a no brainer, I didn't start until quite late. Very good, nyah nyah. At 3 am, I was struggling with rhythm, sentences and syntax. It was crazy, I tell you. I barely typed anything. None down, 3 more to go. I actually wiped off beads of pespiration from my forehead, though it was 6 degrees outside. Amazingly, I managed to squeeze some fresh creative juice by 4.30 am. That was when I started typing furiously. Like a freight train, my fingers breezed through the keyboard. But after I finished typing the first one out, I realized my stuff was beyond comprehension and the amount of grammar mistakes which littered on the page was appalling. Crap. So I wrote. Editted. Reeditted. Wrote. Editted. Reeditted.Deleted. Wrote. Until 7.50am where the work was decent enough to be printed. Took a quick shower. Packed my stuff and took a mad dash for the bus. I was 10 mins late for class. Such misadventures would never make it to Hollywood but it was sure a hell of an adventure to me. However, it also made me rethink about taking my work for granted. Would I be smarter the next time round?

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May 9th, 2004

Current Music: Free Bird-Duet's OST Subject: What?! Time: 06:25 pm Current Mood: annoyed

I haven’t felt that angry for a very long time. In fact, I could hardly find any occasion for me to even get irked. To me, getting angry is hardly worth my energy. Not only it’s time consuming, it’s also detrimental to my brain health and youth. I might get frustrated once in a while, helpless and depressed at others but angry? Too seldom to remember. Even if people pisses me off, I would get all sparked up and ignited to blow, but after a few minutes of rethinking about it, the anger would subside and I’ll become mild once more. But yesterday’s case was somehow different. After a tired day of walking around in the city for dim sum and shopping for assignment necessities, I returned home with the hope that I could steal some time off to rest my tired feet and eyes. I need plenty of rest before the impending burn the midnight oil marathon later. However, 3 minutes after closing my eyes, and buoyant somewhere between dreamland and the conscious world, I was rudely awakened by my handphone beeps. I turned a deaf ear to it and wouldn’t allow it intrude my progress into deep sleep. But Andrew shook me and told me that it was from Han’s Café. Cursing, I answered. My manager fired me for not coming to work 15 mins ago. Confused, I slapped myself awake and explained to her that my friend swapped with me so that she can do my shift while I do hers, which is on Sunday. “Irish can’t swap with you because she’s in god damn Phillipines now!” I was quiet. It wasn’t my problem then as it was my friend who wanted the switch not me, so don’t blame me if she wasn’t present. Apparently, the situation turned out as if it was my fault and that I didn’t told her that I swapped with my colleague, Irish. But hey, I remembered Irish telling me that she’ll let Careen know about the swap and told me to go ahead with the changed plans. That was 5 days back. I could still playback the conversation vividly in my head. I’m not a person who openly expresses discomfort or anger; hence I agreed to come but late. I got up and started changing. I was furious. Fury was seething in me. I was irritated. There seem to be tiger waiting to leap out of me. The raw emotions were setting me on the edge. Boiling and raging, I packed my stuff in annoyance. It wasn’t even my fault but yet I was blamed. And I was so irritated at my friend. The feeling of being cheated and deceived, even without malicious intentions or forgetfulness, was still painful. I wanted to lash out, to avenge for justice and to slap Irish hard on her face. The feeling of discontent over the whole issue accumulated until my bus reached its destination. I continue to boil while wiping the tables and answering to customers’ request. Felt like an uncontrollable maniac within. Only much later, deeply distracted by work, my anger quietened and then faded away. I noticed I could have been truly destructive just then. I could have.

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May 7th, 2004

Current Music: I don't want to wait-Paula Cole Subject: As I walked, I saw... Time: 01:36 am Current Mood: amused

the grumpiest looking woman alive! Well, probably she ain't the grumpiest looking one in the world, but she's definitely the grumpiest one that I've ever seen. And her look wasn't even a result of a heated argument or wanton tantrum throwing sessions. The wrinkled forehead, the pursed lips and the sour aura were plastered on her face while she strolled along London Court. And she actually kept that look while she chatted away with her friends. She looked as if she was having a good time, but her face was an ironic contradiction. Man-at times like these, I really wish that I got a digital camera within reach.

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May 6th, 2004

Subject: Shameless plug Time: 06:32 am

Update yourselves, people! Plenty of don't-know shame pictures! Online photo gallery

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Current Music: Spyro Gyra-Havana Nights Subject: To you. Time: 06:20 am Current Mood: confused

Am I keeping you busy? Are you frustrated with my long mails? Are they no longer interesting to you? Do you remember those times where you would sit by the Pc, awaiting my email? They cheered you up remember? You said it was witty and amusing. At times, profund even. You loved it, didn't you? And in return, you incessantly wrote decent lengths too. Your thoughts, your dreams, your muses, your frustrations, your lame jokes, corny analogies and all. I loved every piece of them. I still do. Sheer tingle of excitment always surface when I read them. It's as if we were back in KL, sitting in one of the mamaks, drinking teh ais. Cups after cups-topics were never exhausted and our conversations could last till eternity. Till we see the rise of the sun, signalling the dawning of the dawn. So what happened now? Why did you stop? I don't want a report. Only a letter.

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May 4th, 2004

Subject: If only.. Time: 03:51 am Current Mood: distressed

Happy Wesak Day to you. If I were where you are right now, I wouldn't be sitting here, crouched in the darkness, watching the flickering screen without a hint of interest registered on my face. If I were where you are right now, I would say piss off to my assignment and would join in the group's spiritual union together. I'd be wearing that year's badly designed shirt which denotes myself as a Wesak Day helper, and would run around giving a hand to anyone who needs one, till my hair's all covered with soot while my eyes water badly. We would then talk and laugh ourselves silly to keep each other awake all night, and then grab a quick bite at Grace Corner's or 'auntie's' place for breakfast. If I were where you are right now, I'd be rehearsing my vocals for the lauch of the memorable event. Yes, that would be our annual ritual. May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you always.

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May 3rd, 2004

Subject: Passing time.. Time: 02:29 pm Current Mood: amused

It was noted in my previous entry that I wouldn't make this blog personal anymore, but what am I to do, when my bus that I'm supposed to take has yet to arrive and the fact that I'm already in the computer lab. Since I don't have any sort of storage equipments within reach, doing research now would be frivolous. Hence, abusing my blog is the next easiest and most logic thing to do. Haha-am I making any sense? Well, I'm not supposed to. I skipped Ad class today. Fatigue drowned me and I was unable to drag myself off the bed. In the end, I overcame my guilt by getting notes from my tutor,Shawn, AFTER the class. How convenient eh? Oh by the way, I got back my studio photographs. The ones where William posed as photographer in my characterization assignment. I wasn't too keen in getting them back initially as I thought I completely messed up the shots. I was slow and had trouble determining the composition and lighting. Being new to flash photography, I had a hard time adapting to the vastness of the equipments and the different types of lighting. Hence, I was prepared to see overexposed or underexposed shots. But much to my delight, it turned out pretty good. In fact, I had so many favourite shots that I had a hard time picking from the lot. Two best shots out of 50 experimental ones! I had to learn how to 'kill my own children'. Urgh. The process was really trying as I love all of them. Naturally, since I'm the owner of the pictures. In the end, Tiffy and Joey contributed in the elimination process. It was easy for them to see which is more impactful as they weren't involve in the capturing end. Alright, I've wasted enough time here. Bus 72 would be arriving in 10 mins time. I'll start my journey to the bus stop now. Weather's lovely today. I'm actually relieved that there's still so much sun despite the fact that Autumn's supposed to sweep us off our feet by now. Take care everyone. Have a nice day!

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April 30th, 2004

Subject: I turn to you... Time: 01:50 am

When the weather is bleak I turn to you When ends don't meet I turn to you When grey skies roll by And cover my perfect blue sky I turn to you. It seems that you're always there Within reach, always willing to share Holding my hand and pressing it against your heart Gives my bad day a brand new start. Turn to me Sometime, when you feel bare Turn to me Sometime, when you feel the need to share Turn to me Sometime, just like how I'd always turn to you. Always you. My friends served as an inspiration to this light hearted friendship poem. It's corny....I know. :P

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April 29th, 2004

Subject: I'm back! Time: 10:15 am

...not really. Just feel like posting up whenever I can. Nothing personal though. A potted biography. Birth ----- This child caused immense suffering to his mother. His mother had such a hard time during delivery even though doctors were suprised to find that his child is indeed very small. Eventually, after so much pushing and many hours of screaming and suicidal threats which came out from the mother's mouth during delivery, the baby boy was borned into the world where he knew nothing of. Scrawny and wrinkled, bathed in blood and fluids, he immediately break into a wail, which soon turned into a smile. A baby smiling? No one knew why. First word -------- PAMA. He couldn't decide which to call. Papa? Or mama? Both grown ups were vehement that their names should be the first word that the child would utter. The child was very confused indeed. Both words shared almost the same syllables and phonetics. The child, not wanting to dissapoint both his parents, decided to combine both the words and "Pama" he said. Soon after, his father decided that he's the triumphant one between the two, because the word Pa came before Ma. Ma didn't talk to Pa for two days after that. to be continued...

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September 5th, 2003

Subject: moved... Time: 02:26 pm

I'm back. But not here. Finding another hidey hole for myself. I need a change. Those interested can pop in for a visit. Those who linked me will have to change their links if you still want updates. But I'm not promising that the entries are better. Come if you dare. Freedom Beyond Words

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September 1st, 2003

Subject: hiatus Time: 01:40 am

dear CL it's been great talking to you like this. it was fun as i shamelessly exhibited my thoughts while allowing others to say a word or two after that. however-all good things must come to an end. i'll be sabbatical from now on. you'll be hearing from me only through private communication like telephathy. ---to the lj community and fellow bloggers, thank you for being there when i needed an ear, a virtual shoulder or a sound slap. there are only too many unfulfilled dreams, an unconquered world, an unpredictable identity but too little time. but cheer not, for this is not the end. i'll be back. ps-i'd still go around and be a pest in people's blogs.

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Subject: MERDEKA!!! Time: 12:59 am Current Mood: bouncy

"come on everyone...one more time!..TANGGAL tiga puluh satu..bulan lapan lima puluh tujuh...hari yang mulia....hari bahagia....etc. etc." Terence burst into our room, shouting and singing to his glory early in the morning. Happy MERDEKA, Malaysia!"come on everyone...one more time!..TANGGAL tiga puluh satu..bulan lapan lima puluh tujuh...hari yang mulia....hari bahagia....etc. etc." Terence burst into our room, shouting and singing to his glory early in the morning. If I wasn't shocked by his sudden entry, I'd have shed some tears. Happy MERDEKA, Malaysia!

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August 28th, 2003

Current Music: eva cassidy-blue skies Subject: music tales... Time: 12:52 pm Current Mood: content

"you mean jazz got all sorts of different kinds wan ah? hmm....so hard to remember..acid jazz..fusion jazz.smooth jazz.....what else ah? eh...progressive...and bebop? yoh...why got so many? what's the difference?" that was so juvenile. trust me. imagine me in that context, with an additional naive gaze, staring into the sky, trying to adsorb some worthwhile musical knowledge which i learn out of my formal piano lessons. anyway-zak indulged in one of my impulses again when we attended jazz windows, a winter concert where K the band performed. don't let the simple name fool you. K's music is definitely more than simple. They were brilliant to say the least. even the fool proof-hard to please Zak was at awe with these young grads' talent. these bunch of edith cowan university grads were also the ones who clinched the WA's local music awards and were also nominated for these year's Kiss my WAMI awards. on our way to ECU's music auditorium, zak was already jazzing up the car with some really nice grooves(preparing you for the concert he says. so that you won't sleep.....what the..?!)yet those mainstream fusion didn't really prepare me for what was coming latter. It was jazz..sure thing....but the keyboardist and drummer funked it up so much that it blended between soul and new age. It was extremely beautiful, very expressive, upbeat and refreshing. i stil remember the first jazz concert which i attended about a year ago, courtesy of kah fatt. i've forgotten the name of the group but i remember the event taking place in actor's studio dataran merdeka. embarassing but true, i almost slept off in the midst of the band's 'climax'. it was so funny. being a newcomer to jazz then, i wasn't able to appreciate much of it. i was able to admire the seperate band members who are skillful in their own instruments but i was not able to appreciate their score as a whole. oh well--i still remember my friends giving me those looks which says'sheesh...wasting the tickets only'. sorry kah fatt--at least i'm able to tell you that this time, not only i didn't sleep off... i actually enjoyed myself!!

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August 24th, 2003

Subject: this is hilarious..!! Time: 03:29 am

My LiveJournal Sitcom Being mousez (NBC, 8:30): mousez (Harry Shearer) finds a backpack in rosesnchaos (Andy Kaufman)'s sock drawer. Later that day, yendis (Meg Ryan) paints perth (Leonard Nimoy)'s sock orange. Later, morpheuse (Tom Cruise) marries fifth (Roger Moore)'s daughter. On the other side of town, pisaller (Monica Bellucci) breaks magdamaeve (James Doohan)'s old 100-meter-dash record, but nobody sees it happen. That weekend, yiliang (James Van Der Beek) accidentally throws away lovemei (Abe Vigoda)'s portable CD player. TV-MA. What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)

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Current Music: relaxation-acoustic alchemy Subject: plunging in again.. Time: 02:42 am Current Mood: accomplished

it's funny how i'd like to get myself rolling into a hundrum of events and yet cannot cope up with it. it's as if i'm afraid of solitude. i need something to keep the beat in my life constant. yet when i plunge myself into something, i tend to get reversal emotions from it and be weary that i'm robbed of the sacred silence in my life. life is simply a vicious cycle of irony, isn't it, dear CL? anyway-i got myself invovled with the International Students Committee by signing up for the Multicultural Week Event. Apparently this time, the MCW will be celebrated with more grandeur than before. They're even going to have state celebrations with parades and all. It'll be a colourful week in Perth. I was half hearted in trying to commit myself to such a big event as it'll be an entire week of competitions, performances, pasar malam, raffle draws, cultural parades...etc but i pushed myself in anyway. it'll be a good place to start expanding my social circle and get some experience in execution of events.i have a problem with commitment at times and i need to rid myself off that habit. we had our first meeting yesterday where the main committees simply discussed about our roles and the amount of commitment which we need to put in. i was expecting to see a blend of cultures in the meeting but all i got were more malaysians and singaporeans staring back at me. what happened to the rest of the international society? are they not keen to participate and help, too busy, too shy or what? anyway-i was suprised at myself that i actually volunteered out to do some sponsorship stuff. it gave me a fuzzy feeling in my stomach after i thought about what i've done. Sponsorship always mean maximum talking and maximum rejection. And I seriously do not enjoy talking to stubborn people who refuses to listen to you. I mean-how much rejection can you actually handle in one day? yet, i agreed mainly because i need some experiences for my future line of career. afterall, being in a creative communication line won't confine me to flickering screens and nice people. i'll probably face irritating clients and be negotiating for contracts and presentations of proposals;whether i like it or not. might as well start to develop a thick face now then later. it'll also give me some insight to how the australians actually go about sponsorship, the response, the market and stuff. it'll be cool to close a deal and be rewarded with immense satisfaction. wish me luck. my skin isn't that thick yet. i fear i might cry like a wimp if i'm being turned away. mousez Back to The Rodent's Rants

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August 22nd, 2003

Current Music: -absolutely nothing- Subject: bla bla bla about nothing Time: 08:21 pm Current Mood: blah

there is truly nothing to update these days. i'm an amazingly boring person, come to think of it, CL. at first,i tried to mask my boring life by exaggerating and framing the reality into something exciting..but how often can i do that? turning an uninteresting moment into something fantastik(with my Italian lecturer's accent) by using words requires plenty of skills and i'm desperately lacking of it now. so now i'm exposed. i'm a damn fraud. if you analyse my blog thoroughly, you tend to see a common thread in the tapestry which i've woven. ie, "ohh....no money"...or "oh woe me..i'm a victim of society's wrath" or "oh..drat my social life.." or...."wahh...my academic life is so and so..." or.."wah...this is so inspiring..".... CL..CL..how pathetic can i get? *** yes. time is challenging my efforts and my survival. day and night, i'm plagued with thoughts about my assignments and homework. i mean who with an academic life isn't?? what makes things worse is the breath of units which i've taken. let's say if you do accounting, at least most of the units you learn co-relate with each other and u can use one resource from one subject for the other. but mine varies so widely that i can do nothing bout it. enough. anyway-my classmates are warming up towards each other ..but not the westerners. only the asians . went on a night photography conquest yesterday. marco, my hong kee classmate and i drove up to king's park to snap some typical postcard shots. it was a great view from up there. then, we stopped at the traffic light near by and took some pics of the traffic. we drove somewhere near the highway bridge, stopped there, stoop low and captured the cars zooming below. ----- that's it from the boring me. i'm still inept in making my blog into an interesting read. it's amazing how the others can make their blogs into somekind of best-selling autobiographies. i'll never be able to pull off such a feat. who cares anyway? even if there's no 'the rest', i can always count on you, TCL, to be a regular guest here. Cheers mate! mousez

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August 17th, 2003

Subject: morning matters Time: 10:01 pm Current Mood: discontent

Good morning. It's a lovely day, isn't it?" Zak's sms buzzed on my phone and woke me up from some fantastic dream which I can hardly remember now. That's right, Choon Ling. It was a lovely day with the sun high in the sky. I can smell the crisp spring air as I poked my head out from the doorway. Yet,it was a waste that I had to stay in to finish up my work. Yeah-some still life marker rendering shitty stuff again. This time, I'm rendering a Predator and Lego Bionicle model which I sneaked off Andrew's showcase. Sigh. Why must the weather turn out to be so fine when I can't afford to go out and take a walk? Drat the untimely blessing. Wrong timing. Hrphm...

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